Living out of a suitcase makes you feel very disconnected from the world... almost like you have no home. I feel like sometimes, while I'm on the road, I call/text my friends almost too often... but I feel a bit lost without that. I know what I have waiting for me at home, but still, when you wake up every morning and select your clothes from a possible 4 choices, do laundry in a hotel laundry room, run out of an item and have to make a big trip to replace it, it's frustrating. I spend a lot of time alone - a LOT, and while most of the time I like it, sometimes, it's a bad opportunity for TOO MUCH thinking, too much time to over-analyze things. (And lord knows, I do enough of this already.)
So when I whine and complain about work, get frustrated, freak out over things that I normally wouldn't, remember, not only am I having a bad day, but I'm doing it 800 miles away from anyone who loves me. There is no option for me to just call a friend and meet for coffee to vent, get a hug, have a laugh. And just KNOWING that fact off the bat seems to amplify my panic. There's been some concern expressed lately that maybe I'm losing it a bit too much, but honestly, if this crap would happen while I was close to home, I don't know that it would be so bad. I am very much a social creature, and while I might be a bit closed off at times about sharing my feelings, just being AROUND my friends when I've got something on my mind fixes it for me.
That being said... I miss y'all, terribly. And my cats. And home-cooked meals. Home in 36 hours. THANK GOODNESS!
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